JoJo Fletcher Bachelorette Recap Episode 6: When Faced with a Difficult Decision
Welcome back, everyone! We’re here for Week 5 of the Bachelorette, and JoJo has already narrowed it down to eight men. How will she ever choose?
Home Base:
The suitors have arrived in Buenos Aires, Argentina for the next step of their journey to twu wuv. JoJo jokes with Chris Harrison about possibly falling in love with two people, ironic because Bachelor Ben was pilloried for such behavior last season. The guys settle into their new digs and wait for instructions. Angry Alex continues lashing out aggressively and makes fun of Wells for not kissing JoJo yet. I think he was a bully in middle school and fell behind when the other children grew. After Wells leaves with JoJo, the guys at the hotel discuss what their failure to snog (not the Matthew McConaughey movie) means. At length. With red wine all around:
"Quite rugged." "Why thank you!" "Oh no, I was referring to this particular vintage."
One-on-One Date:
Wells and JoJo go shopping in the city before heading to a show called Fuerza Bruta. It is an...interesting show to choose for a date. They watch nearly-naked people swimming in a pool suspended above them and a man running against the wind of a giant fan before pretending to be shot. Rather than comment on the strange surroundings, Wells spends the date stressing about when to kiss JoJo. Finally they end up in the aerial pool, and he makes a move to get a little snogging. Congratulations, Wells: you're a man now.
Wells pulls JoJo's chair out for her at “dinner” (if you don’t eat, it doesn't count), so knucks to him for being a gentleman.
JoJo opens by asking Wells about his last relationship, as is her custom. After four years, he and his ex went their separate ways when they felt only passionless friendship was left. JoJo seems pleased, but as they move on to everlasting love, Wells doesn’t give her much back. Sensing his skepticism for the situation and long-term romantic love altogether, JoJo chooses NOT to give him a rose. They cry a bit, hug it out, and leave perfectly good food right on the table:
I'm surprised PETA doesn't give ABC a hard time for ordering all this meat and letting it go to waste. Also, screw you, PETA.
As JoJo contemplates the difficult path ahead of her, she inexplicably returns to a live show of Fuerza Bruta. I understand you’re bumming, JoJo, but at least go somewhere you can have a drink! You’ve already seen that show!
Group Date:
Luke, Robby, Lil Rodgers, James, and Angry Alex meet JoJo for some urban exploration. James feels like the odd man out, and without Wells, he's probably right. James, you're simply too normal for this show. They join a soccer game in the streets, and JoJo actually gets a couple legitimate kicks in. The men take turns shooting penalty kicks for a kiss, and Robby tries to pay off the goalie. Clever, but ineffective. James manages to score a goal and a snog, after which the men carry JoJo off to cocktail hour in a pretty fantastic old building:
Pretty swag cocktail lounge! New idea for the house I don't own. The girlfriend will love it!
JoJo goes off with Luke for a private conversation. I would describe it in more detail, but you know it by now: connections are strengthening, people are excited for time alone, etc. On the bright side, JoJo goes deep snogging with Luke, to the point I think she entirely forgets the guys in the other room. They share the longest sustained snog I’ve ever seen in this franchise! Knucks, Luke
An insecure James gets a chance to speak with JoJo and uses the time to throw shade at Lil Rodgers. Apparently Lil Rodgers played the alpha male card in a game of poker and James felt slighted. It sounds like Lil Rodgers charmed him into seeing things his way after they disagreed on a rule. He goes in for a snog anyway; the Sloppy Snogging Seconds rule is really stacking up this week! JoJo leads Lil Rodgers away to discuss the situation with James. Lil Rodgers explains they were simply playing poker and disagreed on a rule. JoJo presses him with James's “entitled” description, which seems unusual. How does someone insist on a poker rule in an “entitled” manner? You just disagree on the rule and settle it with a coin flip. I think Lil Rodgers got a bad beat on this one, but swirling white wine around doesn't help his cause. The subsequent awkward silence is incredibly awkward, especially Lil Rodgers’s shady sideways glance at James.
That is a look of contemptuous venom, ladies and gentlemen! Maybe the Sand Snakes can take a lesson.
He asks James directly about his conversation with JoJo, and follows with my question above about sounding entitled about a poker rule! Knucks to you, Lil Rodgers.
If Lil Rodgers is telling the truth, and he just insisted his rules were correct, I don’t view that as entitlement. Should JoJo really care if he's entitled anyway? It seems like she has a pretty cushy setup in Dallas. Mercifully, the awkwardness is broken up when Luke receives the Group Date rose for his serious snogging.
Two-on-One Date:
Chase and Derek are selected for the two-on-one date, which is hilarious because I can’t keep them straight. Look at these guys, Chase is basically Derek’s blondepelganger:
That's a blonde doppelganger, in case you were confused.
They awkwardly receive the date card together, and Derek’s bravado throws Chase off. This dynamic persists into the next day as they go to meet up with JoJo. They’ll be performing a three-person tango routine, and JoJo will use her feelings on the floor to help her decide. Derek seems a bit more comfortable on the dance floor, but Chase misses an opportunity to throw a wild card in. Next time she comes in close, plant a kiss on her! Bonus chemistry points for you and a little intimidation to your rival! You won't get the steps right anyway, and you wouldn’t win the rose for doing so!
At the three-way dinner, each contestant gets their alone time after food is served. It would be dangerous to leave me alone with the beef on those plates. I would definitely eat mine, and after a few minutes the others have forfeited theirs.
"Can I get a ruling? No? Okay, I'll just eat them all."
JoJo pressures Derek to open up, and he compliments her eyes and upgrades their relationship status to “falling for”. It's nice, but doesn't really count as opening up. Still worth a snog, though. Chase admits to being scared and having strong feelings for JoJo, which she's happy to hear. She felt he hadn’t been reciprocating the way she would like, and after a brief hesitation he commits to reassuring her and earns some snogging for his efforts. JoJo dramatically offers the rose to Chase. Derek is going home! JoJo walks him to the limo and sends him away. To add to an already awkward day, he is not riding alone; there’s a production guy in the backseat with him:
"Oh hey. Don't mind me, just talk and cry into that camera between the two front seats. Yeah I just really needed a ride home."
Chase and JoJo move on to some light dancing and heavy petting in front of a string quintet and a singer.
Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party:
Jordan pulls JoJo aside to open up about his feelings, telling her he is “falling in love”, effectively sealing his trip to the next round.
Angry Alex is nervous about a lack of quality time, and swigs some white wine to help calm his nerves. He gets a chance to talk to and snog with JoJo, boosting his confidence. This theme continues until Chris Harrison announces the Rose Ceremony. Alex is so, SO much shorter than everyone else:
One is a reality TV contestant, the other is an animated Prince with a complex. Can you guess which is which?
I would feel bad for him if he came across as likable in any way. Before presenting the final rose, JoJo steps outside! She tells Chris Harrison she doesn’t want to give the rose out because she’s feeling sick to her stomach. In response, Chris gives her two roses to allow both James and Alex to move on. You really buried the lede JoJo! So clever, and also sort of sadistic. Shockingly, Angry Alex is upset with the outcome.
Moving on this week: Angry Alex Farquaad, Chase-not-Derek, Just James, Lil Rodgers, Luke, and Robby
The First Ever "Keep Practicing your Spanish" Award:
"I tell you what, two-on-ones are no mas, no good!" Congratulations Alex, you get a Taco Bell gift card as your reward!
If you were playing the QQ Bachelor(ette) Drinking Game, you would have racked up 66 drinks based on the rules at the time! Not nearly enough for two hours. We'll keep working on it.
