The Bachelor Recap, Nick Viall Episode 6: Nick Cuts His Options in Half
When we left off last week, Taylor, intent on speaking her mind, was stalking Nick and Corinne. How lame will her attempt at a confrontation be? After it fails, how much longer can Corinne stay on the show using her "wiles?" She's one of twelve women remaining, and Nick has only five more episodes to choose a fiancee (again), so let's see who stands out and who goes home!
Taylor miraculously walks directly to Nick and Corinne's one-on-one date. She interrupts a snog and leads Nick outside, leaving Corinne to speculate with her champagne. Taylor explains her side of the story to Nick, who quickly says goodbye and returns to his date to continue snogging. He confides to the camera that he "sees a lot of potential" in Corinne, which is likely true; she's already taken her top off unprovoked and mounted him in a bouncy castle, so I'm sure he's considered where that might lead multiple times.
"What I learned tonight is cats have nine lives, and b*****s have two." Corinne has less potential as a wife than Anakin Skywalker had as a Jedi.
The Rose Ceremony
Chris Harrison pops in to announce that Nick has decided to forego the cocktail party and go straight to the Rose Ceremony. This must be the most crushing way to be sent home, because you don't even get a chance to get good and buzzed before crying on national television. Everyone deserves one final open bar before that happens. Except maybe Corinne.
This Week's Survivors: Rachel, Danielle M, Corinne, Kristina, Raven, Vanessa, Danielle L, Jasmine, and Whitney
Returning to Real Life: Jaimi, Josephine, and Alexis
St. Thomas
Soon after the ladies settle in, Nick arrives by seaplane and invites Kristina on the first one-on-one date. They ditch the others in favor of the Annaberg Ruins, where they explore and then begin discussing her family. She has one biological sister still living in Russia and seven siblings in the United States, where she was one of four children adopted by a family with four children of their own. After a dip in the ocean and a snog, they change clothes and head off to dinner.
At dinner, Kristina describes her childhood in Russia, which sounds extremely, depressingly Russian. She grew up without food, left home when she was five years old, and wound up in an orphanage.
Pictured: a real person with real problems. Still perplexing: how she ended up on this show.
No jokes here, except that our current President admires that country's leader. Does that count as a joke? Anyway, Kristina gets all of the knucks for not only surviving her ordeal but turning into what seems to be a highly functional human being.
Justifiable tears flow for the first time all season, and Nick presents Kristina with a rose before leading her to a private island concert (drink).
Group Date: Rachel, Raven, Vanessa, Corinne, Danielle M, and Jasmine
Nick and the six ladies leave one beach for another, where they intersperse bouts of cornhole and volleyball with shots. Even as someone who creates drinking game rules in his spare time, I'd advise against exerting yourself after taking shots. Soon after volleyball begins, Corinne wanders off to the bar for another shot and Nick follows as if she's the hypnotoad.
The three-on-three volleyball is very sloppy thanks to a combination of mixed athleticism and enough drinks to prompt tears in half the players. This might be the most spectacular failure of a group date I've ever seen, but I'll give Nick the smallest amount of credit for noticing the depressed atmosphere. After a change of clothes, he tries to rally the troops with a champagne toast at the cocktail party.
Rachel is the first to step aside with Nick, and she lays out her anxieties about group dates and the odd dating environment in general. Nick does his best to console her before moving on to Vanessa and Corinne. Jasmine's panic level is rising along with her BAC, and she relentlessly assaults her competitors with a barrage of words until Nick arrives to ask for some time to talk. He's now the sole target of her relentless rambling, and before long, she naturally pretends to choke him. We've all been there, right? But it's okay, because she also offers to choke him, in a 50 Shades of Gray way. And then pretends to choke him again.
When your relationship is on the ropes, introducing asphyxiation is probably not the solution. If it is, you should probably bail anyway.
Unsurprisingly, Nick seizes on this moment to say goodbye, and walks Jasmine to the limo. Raven wins the group date rose.
Two-on-One Date: Danielle L and Whitney
Danielle L arrives on a critical date wearing a garment even more puzzling than the one sparking my anger with Amanda in Ben's season:
Whitney doesn't get a pass, but at least her whatever-that-is doesn't have sleeves. Why does a tank romper with sleeves even exist?!
Their date consists entirely of a helicopter ride to either an isthmus or peninsula with an extremely out-of-place covered divan. Nick takes Whitney aside and says almost nothing of substance, then returns to do the same with Danielle L. Whatever information he gleaned from his vapid conversations with both women seems to be enough, and he approaches Whitney at the peculiar pavilion to send her home.
Danielle L. and Nick leave a crying Whitney on the beach in favor of an old fort, which has been converted into a romantic date spot for the evening. Their conversation begins by rehashing their one-on-one date, but Nick seems suspiciously unenthusiastic.
This is the face of a man figuring out how to break up with an attractive romantic interest. Don't feel bad for him!
Sure enough, he springs a trap and asks Danielle L. to describe aspects of a relationship she wants besides honesty and communication. She lists love and trust, which is pretty good for being put on a spot. She then announces that she's falling in love with him, and Nick responds by stroking her arm through an uncomfortable silence before sending Danielle L. home. In a shocking turn of events, I actually feel a little bad for Nick, as he appears to be wondering if he's capable of finding love in this environment. I often joke that no one is, but they should enjoy the chance to convince themselves they are until they return to real life and realize they barely know their fiancees!
Nick returns to the St. Thomas hotel and joins the ladies to explain what happened on the two-on-one date. Crying, he explains his crisis of confidence and heads back to his own room, leaving the final six contestants to contemplate their fate, and us waiting until next week.
This episode tallied 59 drinks according to the QQ Bachelor Drinking Game. Feel free to follow us on Facebook for new content, and we'll see you next week!
