Putting a bow on Paradise with some proposals, some breakups, and some moderately cute puppies

As the season draws to a close, the remaining couples choose to go their separate ways or fight to go their separate ways in a few months instead

A new week in Paradise comes with a new energy: contestants are trusted with infants, Chris’s fur only rises mildly in response to a threat, and only Shushanna’s blubbering puts a damper on the proceedings.

An overdue breakup sends tremors through the Paradise cast, Annaliese solidifies her hold on the new “least enjoyable” cast member title, and an utterly unnecessary three-hour special accomplishes nothing more than the two-hour standard

It’s not actually everyone, but we had a record six instances of food consumption. Also: Leo finally leaves, Jordan is a golden retriever, and Kamil appreciates American humor

Jordan and Benoit enter the Octagon, Astrid and Kevin overcome a self-inflicted setback, and Leo goes crazy

A new arrival turns all the women’s heads, Tia receives a warning about Colton, and Jordan loses ground to a Canadian

In which Tia returns her attention to Colton, Jordan jeopardizes his relationship with Jenna by wearing a romphim and throwing a stuffed animal, and everyone starts utilizing the bar.

Not-Zoolander finds a kindred spirit, Tia’s pursuit of Chris goes as poorly as her pursuit of Colton, and Jenna’s censored butt gets us all chugging.

Episode 2 brings more drama, a new “bartender”, and a chance for Kenny to shine!

QQ Recaps of the Bachelor franchise are back! Let’s jump into the Season 5 premiere of Bachelor in Paradise and meet the latest cast of (fame- or love- or vacation- or validation-) desperate contestants!